Preparing to Leave for India

So finally after five years of trying to make space for this trip, I am leaving for India in a little less than two weeks. I booked this trip on the heels of big changes in my life, as an almost impulsive gesture. I think there are just times in your life that you can't deny the deep voice inside that says "just go." There is a big world out there to experience, and sometimes you just need to prove to yourself that all the little things you think matter so much, really don't in the grand scheme of things. I am going alone, and I know that I will come back a changed woman. The little boy to the left Soham, is number one priority on this trip. For the last several years my teacher training program has been paying for his education in a children's home called Bal Ashram in Varanasi. It only costs $500 a year - can you imagine? The letters and pictures this little boy has sent me over the years have melted my heart. I am excited about meeting him and spending 10 days at his orphanage during my travels. His home is also the home for one of my dearest spiritual teachers Baba Harihar Ramji (Babaji). He will be there for a few days when I am there. Until him, I never really believed in the possibility of gurus. Just being in his presence makes me cry and I always leave feel cleaned out and renewed. I am traveling to India for about a month, I wish I could go longer, but life won't have it that way, as it is I'll miss the holidays this year. On the agenda is Delhi, Agra, Khajurhao, Varansi, and Bangalore where I'll be assisting/taking a Circus Yoga Teacher Training and playing with my lovely circus family Kevin and Erin, and an old friend Yoli.

Preparations have been interesting. The travel clinic handed me an 80 page paper of "things you can catch in India" after my giant dose of Hep A, and Polio. The nurse actually told me to not read it, but take it with me - and that it gets better after page 10. Friends have made recommendations for things such as dry shampoo, peanut butter crackers, and jet lag pills. I am armed with a malaria prescription and anti-diarrhrea pills. All this has made me think a lot about creature comforts - the things that I just can't exist without here that also can fit in a backpack. I've been loading up my ipod with new music to help me survive, I will have an ample supply of lip gloss, my favorite leopard print scarf, my computer, sunglasses, extra contacts, a book of women's poetry that keeps me alive, and two talismans I carry around with me: a metal pollywog that reminds me about transformation, and a little metal disc with Lakshmi's image on it. I am bringing very little for clothes - I have two button down safari style shirts that are quick dry, and a pair of quick dry capris that when worn together make me look like I should be sitting astride an elephant. Maybe I will, I hear on elephant is a great way to see the red fort.

There are people I'd like to stuff in the pack but sadly they won't fit.

I plan to use this blog to be as raw and open as I ever have in my life. I think as teachers in this field of holistic movement and psychology, we spend a lot of time trying to be perfect, and a pillar of morality and strength. While that is to be admired, sometimes we forget the importance of telling our students and friends that we are just human, and prone to the same fallacies they are. I've never been one to get caught up with a myth, and this will serve as an opportunity to tear down the walls of my own soul, release my inhibitions and just be naked and exposed. I'm prepared for the good, the bad, the ugly, and the authentically gorgeous.

This has been on heavy rotation in my ipod:

Carrying bags a navy taxi man said

"Take your time love

'cause you don't have to rush

'cause it's your life, and no one else's sweetheart

Don't let someone put you in a box"

~ Navy Taxi, Kate Nash

All my love. Carrie