whirlwind - here comes hurricane carrie.

As is standard for me, I am finally crossing "write on your blog" off my honey-do list somewhere around 10:00 at night. It's only been on the list for two weeks. Needless to say, my life has been in high gear for the last few weeks.

I recently purchased a lovely studio in Newburyport, MA which will become the first true homebase for Rasamaya teacher trainings and classes. It has been yet another of life's gracious gifts which quite literally landed in my lap out of thin air.

Kerplunk.

As is my pattern, when I jump off the bridge into something risky like a new business venture (that makes sense no where on paper but everywhere in my brain), every door opens. It is my truth. Follow your heart I suppose is the deeper message.

I know that right now I am sitting on the brink of discovery and a new amazing chapter of my life. Open arms full of hope (let's be real for a minute - what else can you do when you take big risks - it's either eating hope for breakfast or a cardboard box on the side of the road - I'm going for hope with a side of buttered toast first. Box second.)

Today I started with a new group of teacher trainees. The first time a new group teaches their first Rasamaya warm-up it just makes my heart sing. I can appreciate where they are starting and I can see so clearly where they will end up. It's a gorgeous thing to witness. My great joy and maybe my best gift is helping teachers find their voice. I am so excited for this new group, what a lovely bunch.

I remember my first teacher training with Kathy at YogaVermont. I was thirsty for knowledge, and yet apprehensive of what I was getting myself into. And perhaps I should of been apprehensive, what I didn't know is that the decision to lead a life led by a constant spiritual pursuit leaves you never quite satiated. Every day I strive to learn more, teach more, learn more. It's an obsessive pattern. They say that those that can't do teach... since enlightenment isn't within my "do" I teach everything I learn. Really I'm nothing more than a talented parrot.

Living a life that allows me the opportunity to use movement as a path to my own searching for spiritual enlightenment is a gift. Movement simply provides a platform for me to ask the hard questions of my own life... to the point of exhaustion. I wonder what life would of been like if I had chosen the life of a financial planner (which was the other option at the cross roads decision point where I decided to follow my heart to teach yoga).... or if I had become a marine biologist or doctor or lawyer. I'm sure somehow I would of ended up right where I am today.

Rasamaya® Expands To A to Z Studio!

Click the link below to read our latest newsletter to learn about our expansion to Newburyport, MA!

Rasamaya® Expands To A to Z Studio! via @constantcontact

Aerial Yoga Teacher Training Photos!

Beautiful Pictures from our Aerial Yoga Teacher Training Last Weekend!

http://papayaimages.zenfolio.com/p258912354

Getting over the "they"

Has it really been so long that I have written or said anything of any substance? I have to admit in truth that I have shied away from writing anything that has any weight because I have been advised otherwise. The "they" of business society informed me that it was a bad executive choice to be authentic or share too much about my personal beliefs. For the last six months I have faltered between believing that I am brave enough to weather any kind of storm and believing that I have everything to lose from the wrong swipe of a pen, or in this case a keyboard.

The truth is since my trip to India last December I've held back a lot. While I was there I fell in love with sitting up at night locked in the silence of a hotel room where I could pour my heart into random thoughts on the screen that I thought no one would read. Sadly, some of those posts are now erased because of the "they." When I came home I was shocked to find out that so many people actually read my blog. Its amazing to find out that you may have many, many more "followers" than your blog might lead you believe. The amount of people that asked me to continue to write because I was able speak some small piece of their voice was astounding and shocking.  Others followed my stories mostly out of human curiosity and others because they felt obligated as my friends and family. Regardless of the reason when I took a count, there were well over 100 people I knew reading these posts.  That's scary. So when I came home I asked the "they" their opinion of such popularity - and as such I stopped writing.

Until last week.

I went back through musings I didn't publish after India. Half written comparisons of life to shoes, my feelings about being silenced, my thoughts on occasionally drinking too much wine, or crying in the middle of the day over despair for things beyond my control. I read each one to my lover and to myself, only to realize that there was still the same voice I had while I was away - the only difference was that she/me couldn't finish a complete thought because she/me didn't have the permission.... because "they" told her not to.

I wonder at what point my good Catholic upbringing became so imprinted on my persona that under the outward persona of fierce independence I actually was still the child that said "yes ma'am, no ma'am, and excuse me."  I went through a phase as a child where I apologized to inanimate objects if I bumped into them. Now I find as an adult that I am just bumping into the contents of my own head.

So to my readers - I'm sorry. I know the dribble for the last few months has been boring. Sure, the playlists and announcements that promote my popularity as a movement teacher are lovely and all, especially if you know me and I am lucky enough to have you as one of my supporters. But in the haze of this field of creative movement, it's really mindless garbage and not what really most of us are thinking about.  In some horrible business-driven mentality, it's almost as if when you don't speak your truth you are somehow better. Especially (and sadly) in the field of holistic wellness. It is easy for us as a society that constantly strives to "be better" to assume that anyone who has  a nice public persona is "perfect" and therefore we should aspire to be them. As if the Gaiam poster child is something we can all obtain. So we don't talk about it. Or worse for those of us who write and teach in the field we end up talking about our lives in some other third person narrative as if we aren't actually talking about ourselves.  For me, enough is enough.... time to write again.

Happy Independence Day!

'Independence is my happiness, and I view things as they are, without regard to place or person; my country is the world, and my religion is to do good.' -Thomas Paine